I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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