3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
