After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
