I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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