he told me I talked like a deaf person
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
