ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize