This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
