Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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