Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
