I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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