Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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(410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was http://tfl.nu/b47l

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 http://tfl.nu/vzb8

Replies (109) Good night (39854) Bad night (1919)
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(802): View more from Vermont

i can juggle bunnies

(1-802): View more from Vermont

cool

(802): View more from Vermont

on fire

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(802): i can juggle bunnies (1-802): cool (802): on fire http://tfl.nu/wqba

Replies (11) Good night (2977) Bad night (736)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

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(402): i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. http://tfl.nu/maqc

Replies (31) Good night (5084) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons

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(720): we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons http://tfl.nu/079e

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(925): View more from California

I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.

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(925): I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays. http://tfl.nu/sgn7

Replies (4) Good night (4176) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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(906): View more from Michigan

How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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(906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i

Replies (56) Good night (932) Bad night (9662) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.

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(570): Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore. http://tfl.nu/xw8g

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(410): View more from Maryland

I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.

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(410): I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb. http://tfl.nu/3y7t

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(979): View more from Texas

For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

(512): View more from Texas

You. Win. At. Life.

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(979): For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280. (512): You. Win. At. Life. http://tfl.nu/wgzm

Replies (34) Good night (2270) Bad night (767)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

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(484): omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers. http://tfl.nu/h63v

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(847): View more from Illinois

Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Do you want cuervo gold or silver?

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(847): Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight? (262): Do you want cuervo gold or silver? http://tfl.nu/7twk

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(914): View more from New York

She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.

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(914): She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head. http://tfl.nu/hrvg

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(816): View more from Missouri

If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.

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(816): If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide. http://tfl.nu/28e3

Replies (8) Good night (377) Bad night (736)
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(361): View more from Texas

I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body

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(361): I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body http://tfl.nu/4g9m

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