I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?