Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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