At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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