You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
