I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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