JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
