There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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