I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
