I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
