Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
