I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
