talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
