If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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