I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize