I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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