Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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