No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize