I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
