According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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