So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
