My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
