Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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