doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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