I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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