just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
