party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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