I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
