Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
