Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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