omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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