you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
