How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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