When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
