First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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