Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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