you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize