i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
