idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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