lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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