Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
