yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
