I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
