i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
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Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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