I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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