At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize