2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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