my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
