i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
