i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
